8 Toxic People You Should Just Get Rid Of
There are many sources of negativity in our lives. Sometimes the circumstances are just far from perfect and we become unhappy and depressed, feeling like there is no way out of this downward spiral.
In this situation, it is important to remember that things do get better, and that you do have the power to turn your life around. Listen to my story here, about what I did to create the life I've always wanted for myself, and learn how you can do that too.
And you can start by removing the toxic people from your life. Here are 8 types of people who are poisoning your life:
Those who spread negativity.
Is someone who is close to you always angry, resentful and unhappy? If so, you can probably feel them sucking the life out of you by imposing their negativity and pessimism upon you. Being around people, who complain 24/7 and always see the life as a glass half empty, is not only not fun, it’s also dangerous for you. If you hang out with these people too often, you are likely to develop negative thinking yourself or even get depressed. And we all know how important it is to focus on the positive to attract better things into our lives.
And here are a few tips in case you can't really stop hanging out with negative people (for example, if they are work colleagues or family members):
- Negativity feeds of attention. So don't give negative people much attention. Keep things brief, if you have to listen to them don't ask questions and don't engage.
- Be honest, and if you can, tell them that they are being negative. You need to actively set boundaries and let the toxic people know that you do not want to listen to their negativity.
- Use “positivity triggers” to eliminate negativity. For example, listening to your favorite song or reading positive quotes can help. Anything that can help you redirect your thoughts.
- Be aware of your own reality. YOU're not negative, and YOU don't have to be. Don't let other people influence you and make you “see the glass as half empty”.
- Steer away from conflicts. Don't waste your time or energy in engaging in the drama. Walking away from a conflict doesn't make you weak, on the contrary it makes you stronger.
- See negative people as opportunities for growth. They can teach you to be resilient to negativity and to appreciate the good things in your life.
- Realize who is really important in your life. These negative people are not. And even though you may be forced to be around them, they are not a big part of your life.
Those who criticize you all the time.
They can start with little things, like pointing out that they don’t like your shoes or your haircut, but soon they will be taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. You need people in your life that can tell you the truth and warn you if you are doing something wrong, but you don’t need judgemental people who will always look down on you. You will never feel free and comfortable to act like the real you around these people, and if you can’t be yourself around them, why be around them at all?
But again, if you absolutely have to be around people who like to criticize, here are several things you can do to deal with them better:
- Don't take it personally. Yes, they are criticizing you, but not your whole life and everything you do. Just a tiny little part of you, which does not represent your personality.
- Remember that constructive criticism can help you grow. Being aware of shortcomings will make it easier to work on them and become an even more amazing person.
- Ignore false criticism. Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism. If you stay detached and ignore unjustified criticism, it will have no influence over you.
- Don't respond to criticism immediately. Feelings of anger or injured pride may stop you from thinking clearly. So just take a few deep breathes, go for a walk and calm down.
- Accept that you're not perfect. Everyone has flaws. Nobody's perfect.
- Try to be less sensitive. Control your emotions and don't let people hurt your feeling just by criticizing you.
- Smile 🙂 Even if you don't mean it, it will help you relax and stay positive.
Those who waste your time.
It’s ok to be spending lots of time with those special people in your life. But sometimes there are people who just constantly want our attention just for the sake of getting attention. They are not helping you develop and grow, they are just wasting your time. Don’t let them.
A few things you can do:
If at work – require an agenda for meetings. If outside work – make sure you know why you are meeting up with someone and what they want to talk about.
- State your preferred method of communication. For example, tell the negative person that you prefer to chat via whatsapp and don't feel bad about not picking up the phone.
- Set time limits. Just tell the person that you have to be somewhere in half an hour.
- Hang out with them in a group rather then alone. This way you will always be able to talk to someone else instead.
Those who are jealous.
Sure, it’s sometimes nice to know that someone is a little jealous, because it makes you feel even better about your success. But some people are constantly jealous, they are never happy with what they have, and they will never be happy when good things happen to you. They will keep sending negative vibrations out of envy, because from their point of view that good thing that happened to you should have happened to them. You want to surround yourself with people who will support you and who will help you move forward.
Those who play the victim.
Those who always find someone to blame for the setbacks in their lives or their mistakes. They don’t want to take responsibility, and sooner or later they will end up blaming you too.
These people are sometimes hard to identify at once. First, you will empathize with their problems and will try to help them. But their “time of need” will never pass. And these people will make you forget see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow. You will soon find yourself blaming the circumstances and failing to do anything to change them or your attitude.
Of course, sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone really needs help or just playing the victim. Here are a few signs to look out for:
- They don't take responsibility. They won't actually say “I’m a victim”, but they will say “It's not my fault” or “Why is it always me”.
- Their life is stagnant. They don't make any progress because they think they are powerless.
- They hold onto old grudges. And use them as reasons why they are how they are.
- They get into arguments easily. To them, they are under attack all the time.
- They feel sorry for themselves all the time. But probably won't show much sympathy themselves, because it is all about them.
- They always think that there is something missing from their life. And they are never happy or satisfied.
Those who don’t care.
This may seem obvious, but unfortunately so many of us hang on to that person in our lives who just doesn’t care about us. It may be because we are just not ready to let go yet or because we are hoping something will change, but the reality is that there is no reason to keep someone in your life if they are not interested in it.
Those who are self-centered.
There are also people who just pretend to care about you. But sooner or later everything becomes about them. So if you are spending a lot of time with someone, just make sure that they are not just “taking” but also “giving” something in return. If the person is trying to make everything about himself, he is not worth it.
Those who keep disappointing you.
None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes and we can all be negative, judgemental, self-centred or jealous at times. And that is OK. We are all human. What does matter is that we are willing to work on ourselves, to grow and to try harder to be better people. But if there is someone in your life who is not willing to do that, it is time to get rid of that person. You need to stop allowing the same people to hurt and disappoint you over and over again.
So what else can you do to improve your life?
Getting rid of the surrounding negativity is the first step. But what is even more important, you should stay positive yourself. Change your negative thinking and get rid of limiting beliefs. Download the ‘Origins' program to learn how to do this.