How To Say ‘Yes’ To Your Happiness By Saying ‘No’ To Others
When it comes to your happiness and success, there are no two more influential words than the common ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
Whilst it is believed that saying ‘no’ can close doors and dampen relationships, sometimes, saying ‘yes’ can actually have far greater repercussions.
If you are forever saying ‘yes’ to other people and their needs, you are at serious risk of putting off your own goals and happiness. When you say ‘yes’ to people, projects, favors, and requests that you just know you have no time or enthusiasm for then ask yourself: who is benefiting? The answer is not you.
If being a ‘yes man’ is something you have always struggled with, try to consider some of the following questions…
1. How Often Do You Say ‘Yes’ To Things That Do Not Serve You?
When most people consider how much time they spend on errands, projects, favors or tasks to help benefit others rather than themselves, it can come as quite a shock.
Charitable works, being a good friend or neighbor; all of these are acts of good service that will benefit you as much as the person in need. However, continually saying ‘yes’ to things that halt your own progress or hinder your own happiness for the sake of someone else’s is not healthy.
You have your own projects and ambitions to realize; if you are always saying ‘yes’ to helping others achieve, your own projects are left on the back-burner.
Remember this; the most successful people in the world are the ones that have perfected the art of saying ‘no’ as well as ‘yes’. Rather than spreading their energies and talents thinly across a range of projects and tasks that will only get them a ‘mediocre’ outcome, they ensure that they invest their very best in the few things that will get them the best possible result.
If you are saying ‘yes’ to people out of guilt or pressure, you are probably benefiting no one. However, develop confidence in your ability to prioritize and say ‘yes’ to the things that matter most and you're productivity will be increased by the two-fold.
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2. Why Do We Find Saying ‘No' So Difficult?
So, just why do we find it so difficult to tell others ‘no’?
As we grow up, we give the word ‘no’ numerous negative connotations. We are born people pleasers, eager to ‘fit in’ and gain approval. Then, we hold ourselves accountable for the happiness of others. We are afraid of what opportunities we might miss if we were to turn something down. We regard saying ‘no’ as a form of failure.
There are many reasons for why the word ‘no’ has grown into something we all fear, but to get to the root of this fear, you need to examine why for you, in particular, it is such a challenge. Are you lacking in confidence and feel the need to please? Have you let your drive for success become so strong, that you are afraid to let the ball drop just once? Are you trying to meet up to the unrealistic expectations of someone else?
Next time you wonder if you should say ‘yes’ to something you really don’t want to do, ask yourself: am I saying ‘yes’ for the other person's benefit or for mine?
You are responsible for your happiness; other people can only be responsible for theirs. So when it comes to saying ‘no’ be strong and be clear. Keep your actions and choices in alignment with your ambitions and happiness. Doing this will not only benefit your life and happiness but when you do choose to say ‘yes’ it will be for all the right reasons; making yourself and others far happier.
Say ‘no’ to being the ‘yes-man'. You will be surprised by how well others receive the stronger, more assertive you.
3. Do You Have The Tools To Manifest Your Dream Life?
“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” – Cherie Carter-Scott
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