Have you loved someone and their feelings have not been the same for you? Maybe you have started to fall for a friend, but they only ever see you as just a friend? Unrequited love can be devastating, especially when you feel so strongly about someone.
I think it’s safe to say that a lot of us have had to deal with this scenario once or twice in our lives, and it can be very hard to deal with. Unrequited love is difficult enough when it is regarding someone you hardly know, but it can be a lot worse if it’s regarding a friend.
When someone does not love you back or have romantic feelings towards you, you may start to look for things to blame this on. For example, how you look or how you act, and you can start to doubt yourself. It’s important that you don’t go down this route, as it can be damaging and normally, the problem isn’t you.
I am going to talk about some positive, effective ways that you can cope with one-sided love. Try and pick some ways that will work for you in your situation, to help you cope with this sad time in a healthy way.
When you are faced with an unreciprocated love, it can really hurt. You can have a hard time coming to terms with it and may be unsure of how to handle it.
Firstly, it is ok to grieve. In simple terms, you have lost something. You’ve lost the idea of being in a relationship with someone and you’ve lost the possibility that your feelings would be returned.
Be aware of your emotions and let yourself be sad, angry or disappointed. All of the feelings you have are valid and you need to give yourself permission to feel these emotions. Give yourself time, and know that emotions and feelings don’t disappear overnight.
When you first realize you are dealing with unrequited love it can be easy to get stuck at home, pondering on things and wishing to change it, but this is not going to help you in any way.
Try and distract yourself by doing things that you enjoy.
Whether it’s watching your favorite TV series, painting, spending time with friends, or just a hobby that you love, it can really help.
Not only are you distracting yourself from thinking about this person, you are always doing things that you enjoy and may even find new hobbies that you like too.
If you also like to exercise or get outside this can also be a great way to feel more positive as it gets your endorphins flowing (which is the same effect that love can bring).
In keeping yourself busy and distracting yourself, you can start to feel a lot better and more positive, while trying new things and taking part in hobbies you enjoy.
Friends and family can really support you through a lot, so try and spend time with them if you can. Reaching out to people who care about you is a great way to process what has happened and hopefully start to move on from it.
Try and speak to your family or friends about what has happened and then listen to any advice or kind words that they give you.
They know you best and can treat you a lot better than you may be treating yourself. In addition, they can try and give you the best ways to deal with the situation and also remind you of the positives.
This can also help if you are out with friends and bump into this person, you could find it a lot easier to deal with when you are surrounded by others who care about you.
One of the best things to do when dealing with unrequited love is to make sure that you still show yourself love. It’s always important to love yourself, and it can be harder to do when you are dealing with someone not loving you back.
Do whatever makes you feel cared for and happy. If you like to meditate and relax, try and do this more often, have some ‘me time’ to do what makes you happy. Show yourself some self-care and focus on yourself, not the other person.
Doing this can really help you to start feeling more positive and confident and could help you from not doubting yourself or putting the blame on yourself.
This is also a great way to cope as you are also practicing self-love and self-worth, which is always positive.
It can be hard to do when you are dealing with an unreciprocated love, but understanding the other person's pain is a very mature, and helpful thing to do.
Often when we go through this situation we can get wrapped up in our own emotions and feelings, not thinking about the other person.
If you can put yourself in their shoes, you can see that it probably was not easy for them to reject you, as that is never a nice thing to do.
They could have a number of reasons why they do not want to enter a relationship with you, and by rejecting you they know that it could hurt your feelings and hurt the friendship you both have.
It takes courage to turn someone down when you know it isn’t right. Try and empathize and know that it’s not only you who is hurting right now.
If you can take a look at your situation and try and decide what you want to do with regards to distance, it can really help you to cope. Each friendship is different and each individual may deal with things differently too.
You could try distancing yourself so that you see them half as much, maybe you want to completely stop seeing them until you feel better, it’s completely up to you. However, if you feel like being around them is making things harder for you, then try and see what you can do to change it and if you feel comfortable doing so.
This can give you the much-needed time to yourself that you may need as well as focusing on yourself and not the other person, even if you are only distancing yourself a little bit, if that’s all you need, it can really help you to move on.
7. Set Big GoalsWhen you are feeling negative and angry it can be really hard to think about anything else but your situation.
Try and focus on the future, and start planning. If you have things to look forward to and work towards in the future, you are focusing on yourself and what you want to achieve, which can be a great distraction.
So, try and start by setting some goals. This could be saving up for a holiday or facing new challenges, whatever it is, having goals to focus on for your future is a very positive thing to do. This is a great way to move on from unrequited love as you will be thinking about other things and also seeing what you can achieve and how much you have to offer.
You are not your negative situation, you are something much bigger and realizing this can help you to recognize your full potential and all the great things you have to look forward to.
