17 Emotional Blocks That Are Standing In The Way Of True Love
Do you feel destined to live the single life? Perhaps you’ve had several difficult relationships, endured the pain of heartbreak and learned that avoiding relationships leads to an easier life. While some people genuinely prefer to live without a partner, there’s a difference between this and simply building a wall around your heart to protect yourself from future hurt.
Since you tell yourself you won’t find the right relationship, the universe responds by manifesting just that—bad dates, people who treat you poorly, and more evidence that you’ll be alone forever.
Look out for these 17 major signs that your own emotional blocks are standing in the way of true love. If you learn to remove them, you could open yourself up to a whole new world of happiness…
1. You can come up with reasons why absolutely anyone is incompatible with you. Even if someone seems appealing or you don’t yet have enough information to make a fair assessment, you manage to focus on why you’re “obviously” not right for each other.
2. You let assumptions and stereotypes guide how you feel about potential new partners. This is a quick and easy way to dismiss people and avoid really getting to know them—your mind effectively tears others down to defend yourself against the mere idea of interpersonal hurt.
3. Every new person immediately gets compared to someone who hurt you previously, and you retreat based on the belief that this individual will unavoidably cause you pain as well.
4. You find yourself constantly replaying the events of your past, allowing them to keep you stuck in negative memories. While this can be unpleasant, it also comes with a sense of safety.
5. You haven’t found a way to truly let go of one of your previous relationships. Letting go involves grieving what has been lost, and finding a way to put down the pain you’re carrying.
6. Similarly, you’re still angry at significant figures from your past. You haven’t found a way to forgive them, and the resentment you feel actually energized you in some ways—it’s easier to focus on revenge than on healing.
7. It’s too hard for you to be vulnerable, so you don’t really let people see the real you or hear you talk honesty about yourself. Once again, this is a protective mechanism, but it can also lead to a deep, lonely ache.
8. In the event that you do find yourself interested in someone, you hesitate to share any of that attraction and are afraid to tell the person how you feel. You’re paralyzed by a fear of failure or by thoughts of past hurt.
9. You sometimes wonder if you really deserve love—or perhaps you outright believe that you don’t. In your heart of hearts, you believe you’ll never find anyone and that this is somehow a deserved fate.
10. Whenever you do date someone, you find yourself trying to change them into the person you want them to be, rather than loving or accepting them for the person they really are.
11. If someone tries to push past your defensive barriers and cultivate an authentic, close connection to you, this cause intense anxiety. You find yourself resisting this type of genuine affection at all costs.
12. When you contemplate the idea of having a partner, you feel that they need to check absolutely every box on your list of traits that make up an ideal mate. Anyone who doesn’t manage to do so is dismissed.
13. In the moments when you think you might find love, your fantasy is that the other person will make you complete, save you from your pain or allow you to feel valued. You haven’t yet managed to fully believe that this type of love and completeness must come from within.
14. You regularly turn down social invitations because you don’t like the idea of meeting new people—the thought makes you nervous, and you worry that social interactions will lead to embarrassment or pain.
15. Social networking sites are a source of distress for you, because you have to look at evidence of other people’s happy lives. Pictures of weddings, children and vacations make you feel tormented.
16. You don’t want to attend events that revolve around the happiness of others, either. Weddings are particularly uncomfortable for you, given that they focus on the theme of celebrating love.
17. On a fundamental level, you feel like you’re a victim—other people persecute you, and you have no control over what happens to you. This can be a source of panic and bitterness, but it can also absolve you of any responsibility for your own happiness in relationships.
Does this picture sound familiar to you? If you used to be emotionally blocked from true love, what changed things for you?