How to Overcome Setbacks In Life And Take On New Challenges
Setbacks are part of life, regardless of whether you’re generally happy with your circumstances. When it comes to these unique challenges, it’s your attitude and approach that determines whether you manage to move forward. This is especially important to consider when you’re trying to manifest a specific goal with the Law of Attraction.
Whether you’re after love, abundance, fitness or a psychological transformation, you need to know you’re equipped to overcome setbacks. In this process, it is also important to not lose faith in your worth and your skills. But is that even possible? Well, here are the key steps you can take to respond and recover in a healthy way.
Make Your Self-Esteem Stable, Not Context-Dependent
When you encounter a setback, it’s tempting to let it shape the way you see yourself.
For example, if you feel a relationship has ended badly you might conclude that you’re not as attractive as you thought. If you don’t get the job you wanted then you might start to believe you’re not that intelligent after all. Your internal critical voice may start saying you’re just not good enough.
However, it’s so important to understand and believe that your worth is not determined by circumstance. It is constant, and cannot be shaken or changed by life’s setback. If you have difficulty believing this, it can be helpful to simply state it as an affirmation and say it several times a day. You can accept this truth while at the same time taking full responsibility for whatever role you played in creating a setback. That’s how you learn important lessons without your confidence taking a huge hit.
If just reflecting on this or saying related affirmations doesn’t seem to make a difference, try moving to a more analytical approach.
In your journal (or in your mind), ask yourself what assumptions you’re making about yourself and your current setback. View them with a critical eye. If they’re unwarrantedly negative of self-blaming, write down better alternatives. Then, display them where you can see them every day.
For example, “It’s my fault if a partner leaves” can become “If a partner leaves, they aren’t a good match and are simply creating space in my life for the right person.”
See Yourself As You Would Other People
The old age “treat others the way that you would like to be treated” is usually applied to situations where you need a reminder to treat others with compassion or fairness. Nevertheless, it is equally applicable when you encounter a significant setback in life.
Ask yourself how you would view and behave towards a friend who was facing the same roadblock. In all likelihood, you’d offer a lot more kindness and understanding than you’re offering yourself right now.
Would you be criticizing, looking down on or devaluing your closest friends or family members if they were in your shoes? Of course, you wouldn’t be! Instead, you’d be offering your problem-solving skills, your support, and your empathy. So offer those same things to yourself! Accept that you’re doing the very best you can with the situation you’ve been handed.
In addition, try writing down exactly what you’d say to a friend in your position, abstracting your own guilt, anxiety, shame or doubt from the situation. When you read it back, think about how you can now apply this advice to your own life.
When you’re facing difficulties, it’s crucial to stay in cognitive contact with all the things that make you powerful and skillful. One of the most effective ways to do this is to deliberately think back to major setbacks from the past. Think about how you overcame those. Perhaps, in the end, the setback itself was crucial to your future success (as is often the case).
As well as remembering specific challenges and what you did to move past them, try to figure out what traits are most salient every time you overcome a setback. Write a list of these strengths.
For example, you might notice that your ability to delegate tasks, your self-calming techniques and your adaptability always play an important part. Add as many items to the list as you can. When you have your list of strengths, consider how you can apply those very same strengths right now.
Protect Yourself Against Extra Stress
Finally, you need to do a bit of damage control when it comes to facing setbacks. Make sure you don’t add any more negativity or difficulty to your life.
Look out for people who might be looking to drain your resources. Decline invitations or requests if they won’t actively help to replenish you. In addition, cut back your workload if at all possible.
The other side of this coin is combatting stress at the general level. All your classic Law of Attraction techniques (e.g. visualization and dream boarding) can help here. However, activities like mindfulness exercises, cutting back on caffeine, spending time in nature and devoting a little extra time to your hobbies can also help.