Looking for Love? 3 Questions You Need to Ask Before Finding Mr or Mrs Right…
Everybody wants to feel loved. To find that special someone with whom they can share the best – and the worst – moments in life.
Love is what gives us all, as human beings, purpose in life. Loves becomes our comfort, our calm, and keeps us centered amongst the occasional chaos of life. This applies to all manners of love – be it the love of a friend, family member or child. However, it is romantic love that most see as the ultimate pursuit of life.
Whilst it’s important to remember that being in a romantic relationship will not solve all of a person’s problems, the need to experience a loving partnership is a very real and important one. Which is why, when we aren’t fulfilling our romantic expectations, or in the relationship we’ve always dreamt of having, it can become easy to fall into the trap of feeling frustration and fear that it will never happen.
If you’re single, but any attempts at finding the love you want keep falling short, an important first step would be to pinpoint ways in which you may be limiting your ability to find love. How are you standing in your own way?
Here are three questions to ask yourself when looking for love:
1. Am I holding onto a pre-conceived idea of what a relationship should look like?
Too many people get hung up on what the ideal romantic relationship should ‘look’ like. So ask yourself, what pre-conceived ideas about relationships are you holding onto?
The stories we tell ourselves about love are constructed from a variety of things; media, stories from family and friends, the types of relationships we see growing up. But what should be remembered is that everything we learn is based on the experiences of other people. We need to have our own experiences, to learn what does and doesn’t work for us. So don’t ask how your ideal relationship should look or ‘how’ it should come to be, but ask yourself how do you want to feel once you’re in one?
2. Am I reluctant to settle for anything less than ‘perfect’?
There is no such thing as ‘perfect’, especially a perfect relationship. People will often blame their perfectionism on just having ‘high standards’, however, what they don’t realize is that perfectionism is often used as a form of protection. It creates a barrier between the person and the world, in a subconscious attempt to keep themselves well out of harm’s way. But at the risk of what? As long as you continue to build walls around yourself, you’ll also continue to keep out any chances for love.
Love is about two people showing each other their vulnerabilities and creating trust. So learn to let your guard down a little.
3. Am I showing myself the same love I’d want to be shown by a partner?
Are you someone who constantly goes for the ‘bad guys’? Do you notice any negative patterns repeating themselves in your choice of relationships? When you are unhappy withthe way you’ve been treated in relationships, it’s time to look at the way you treat yourself.
When you don’t show yourself the love, respect and kindness you deserve – you’re holding onto a lot of negative energies. These energies from the relationship that you have with yourself, attract more of the same from the other relationships in your life.
None of us can control the way other people treat us, but we do have control over the way we treat ourselves. So show yourself the love you deserve.
When you stop seeking this love and comfort from external sources and instead, learn to find it within yourself, this begins to manifest in the relationships you attract elsewhere.
We all deserve to find that special someone. You deserve love! But remember, there is no rush – love yourself and concentrate on creating a life you can love and romance will find it’s way to you.
Once you have asked these questions, you should have a better idea of who your Mr or Mrs. Right would be, and what you are looking for in a relationship!